SEVEN: Feelin’ Jaundiced

So….I’ve had to take several deep breaths prior to writing this blog, mainly because the topic just has my underarmours in a bunch, but what started it was this question I got from someone recently:

“Did you know that this new thing called turmeric is a superfood?  I mean, it’s so good for you, you should totally start cooking with it.”

ARE YOU FREAKING KIDDING ME????  You stupid ignorant millennial piece of crap, and that was the nicest, non profanity laden thought I had.  You can message me later for the unedited transcript.  She also continued to “educate” me on the healing qualities of turmeric as well as it’s origin dating back to 1990.  Yeah, 1990.  Forget her, then I start looking at “new” recipes that are just flooded with turmeric and healing spices as if Columbus came here again and dropped his ships off for the second time.  Apparently, he landed on the mainland this time.

You might be asking why I am so annoyed by this as it’s just ignorance and hey, it’s kinda a trend these days anyhow.  But this goes deep, back to when I was growing up.  Being anything but white, was already a disadvantage, especially where I grew up.  Just having brown skin was enough to call me a “Gandhi lover” (sure, i love the guy)  or “dot head” (yeah, i do get one put on my forehead when I am praying at temple…so???).  REAL CLEVER.

I mean kids were cruel just based on appearance.  Heaven forbid I ate anything that wasn’t a hard salami and cheese sandwich on Wonder Bread with Cool Ranch Doritos and a Capri Sun, all packed nicely in a brown paper bag. Tupperware I had  a yellow stained (from, you guessed it, turmeric) tupperware filled with rice and dal (lentils) from dinner last night.  (Lentils…yeah, that’s another thing that’s all of a sudden is trendy, I’ve been eating them for years, you freaking fools.)

“Ewww, Monica, what are you eating, that looks like my guinea pig’s poop on that rice!” dal-makhani-rice-24083662 “Is that curry, it smells like dirty feet!”  “Do you eat that every night?  No wonder why you are a nerd, that’s nerd food.”

Yeah, you all know who you are that said stuff like this to anyone that didn’t eat a processed “meat” sandwich, start shaming yourself, BE ASHAMED.   BE VERY ASHAMED.  Because of you guys, I had to change my protein and vitamins filled vegan diet into a processed, chemical laden, junk food one.  How ironic, considering how many people are going back to my once ridiculed lentils and rice diet.  OH THE FREAKING IRONY.  Not only that, I am being “educated” on it now as if I have no freaking clue what it means to eat fresh food chock full of protein and fiber that keeps my body happy and healthy.

Well well, looks like we just came full circle.  Should I start making fun of you fat sacks that have gained all the weight from that delectable diet of yours?  Now scrambling to lose weight and eat freaking lentils and quinoa cooked in turmeric because you need those healing ingredients to help your joints that are overworked by the weight of your gelatinous selves?  Ok, I’ll stop, but if you are reading this and are offended as an adult, imagine what you did to a kid.  I’ll get off this soap box now.

12562898_10153205520305124_1546600996_oI’m not angry at turmeric or lentils being embodied as a normal thing now,  I love that actually, I can stop eating my lunch in my locker!  I am angry at the perception that it was just now miraculously “invented”.  Where has this been all my life??…in my lunchbox growing up, you idiot.  Stop acting like you discovered this stuff.   You didn’t.  It’s been around for ages, you just didn’t bother to look.  Instead, you act like an arrogant jerk pretending like you conquered the world because you captured turmeric in a plastic little pill, bottled it and sell it now at GNC for $25 a pop. It’s profitable now, the yellow didn’t matter back then, but now, it’s green.Curcumin-Powder-Capsules

My point in all this isn’t to bring down anyone or to hinder the mainstream success of things that have been a part of my diet and my culture for centuries.  As a matter of fact, knowledge is power, the more we know, the better we become.  Being of Indian descent, these are just a few examples.  I’m sure many of you have seen your own traditional foods, spices, etc. exploited and used as if it were a new discovery.  I know I am not alone in this.  For those of you that grew up in households that weren’t exposed to anything other than white rice and ketchup back in 1989, you didn’t know better back then, just stop making a mockery out of it now, it’s revolting.


Next week….who knows, Im sure something will get under my skin…..grrrrr.

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